thoughts on being pregnant

some of my observations as of late on things that are different when you're pregnant (besides the obvious)... (and when i say "you" i mean "i" :D)


none of these are meant to be angry or anything, by the way. i'm genuinely amused by all these thoughts!


you congratulate yourself when you only had to get up once or twice in the middle of the night to pee.


you feel especially gluttonous and large, sitting on the couch eating oreos. even though you did it before. now you're big.


you also feel judged when you buy said junk food at the grocery store. ;) or at least much more conspicuous.


it's suddenly perfectly acceptable for people to start commenting on your weight, figure, size, shape, etc. 


it's also acceptable for everyone to come touch your stomach, like it's some sort of cute little puppy. a round puppy. with no fur. on your abdomen. gross.


you find yourself getting distracted by the crazy gymnastics that must be going on in your stomach. (i caught myself sitting at work today, just gazing down at my stomach in a kind of awed disgust as it jumped around of it's own accord).


it's okay to talk about all sorts of gross stuff. because suddenly nothing is gross. probably because in reality it's all gross.


no one lets you lift ANYthing. ever. or you'll have the baby, right there on the spot.


you have an excuse for everything. it's wonderful.


everyone asks you how the baby is doing. how do you answer this? "well, i'm pretty sure he's doing well. still can't hear him speak or cry or anything. he kicks a lot. i'm just going to assume that means he's doing well!"


and my most recent favorite: having to clench your legs together every time you sneeze ;) whew, always scares me!